Pretty Christmas and beautiful love :)

Hi minna-san!

I have the best Xmas ever,

We woke up at 8ish waiting everyone to woke up :3 since Tom was the only one who haven't woke up yet.
after that we had breakfast, dad made the most gorgeous cheese pizza.
 Then we started to looked into our stockings! OMG I got lacy gloves and it's pink, it's just sooo awesome!
there's also the fingertip less gloves and hand warmer, leg warmer and more.
the other part of awesomeness was we're going to Boston at new year's eve :D

so we start to open the real gift,
I got fluffy white jacket and PJ from dad's parents, $40 from granddad and Grand Cheryl :3
I got lacy white dress that I wanted and also the cool old vintage watch-necklace that I look at the newburry comics
then 3 books ; The voice, Edgar Allen Poe's Masterpiece, and also the modern poetry 'Letter for My Daughter' , and a pair of awesome converse from my parents. :D
and Thea got me the doll from Wreck-It-Ralph and also the black cat keychain from Kiki the Messenger ;D
Tom got me starter set for jewelery making :D
and Nana got me my starter knitting set and also a cool wool jacket :D I love them and I cried twice :D

then I called my parents, my real parents,
I'm so happy that they have a Christmas tree up even they made it up by themselves, :)
I'm so glad, I am really glad. It mean a lot to me, I believe they appreciate more about what i think :)
so, yes, after that we discuss a lot, we talked how mom lose the vote to go shopping since none back up her choice,
when I was there I always back up my mom's voice  to go shopping :D

after that Sean , my boyfriend texted me he'll dropped my present before lunch.
I tried to persuade him to dressed up I mean, dressed up in nice buttoned shirt, tie , pants and shoes
like what he did at homecoming dance.
he really amazed me that day, he look sharp :)
 so we're sitting around while I opened his gift :)
he drew us! and it's the most sweetest thing he made for me :)
he got me an animal plushie and also a little stand decoration for my phone :3
cutie rite? ;D


then we had dinner with my family, too bad Sean have to helped his mom cook :3
we have really awesome lunch-dinner :D
and then have really awesome home made cheese cake that mom made,
and we just hangout with aunt Christa and Will :)

then Sean picked me up at 7.20 (which is so late -_-) he introduced me to his family and relatives,
I'm so overwhelmed, I talked to Kayla and she's nice even Sean think she's mean o.o
he showed me his bedroom and some of his hunting stuff :3
his bedroom was awesomely neat! I feel bad for myself because I'm a girl and I didn't do as neat as him :D
we spend our night talking at his bedroom and cuddling around :3
He love me! and I love him i think I made a good choice to force him to dress up :D
he kissed me and i'm so overwhelmed :D

Best Christmas ever :)

the next day we watched Les Miserables :)
which took 2.5 hours, then Sean asked me weather mom could drop me at his house,
Thea and Matt surprised because he came from a rich family :)
I didn't think he's rich, I mean I don't really care weather he's rich or average normal economy class,
he just Sean in my eyes. I love him because he always love me and made me smile ;)
I spend like 4 hours at his place we cuddle at his couch, and it's just so cute, he love me :D
i teased him that he's trying to abused me :P
then I was hungry and he try to made me a soup :3
and it's just fail :3
his mom told me it was just the broth :D
and she gave me the real soup and it was awesome it remind me of my family, too bad i can't cry~
since i already cry for an hour :(

and he took me to the 3rd floor , told his parents we're going to watch movie but actually no :P
we just cuddling around play truth or dare and kissing :D
lols, it's just a fun night :)
then when his mom drive me home, it was snowing :)
and we both walk under the snow and he kissed me before I go into my house~
seriously, he's the perfect bf ever! i just love him so bad :)

24th December!!

So it's day 2 after 'The end of the world' day

 I'm still breathing, sit on the chair as my finger keeps typing xD

Anyway, I have to told you that this month been so nice to me, really nice to me.
About there's something about this guy that asked me to dance with him at homecoming :)

I told you already his name is Sean :3
and it turned out we like each other and at December 8 was our first date, :3
I really have fun with him and his friends, and we start dating since then !! *blushes and died*
So yea, last night I'm so glad he came over and met my mom :)
I'm so happy that my mom seemed like him, and he handled the conversation excellently!
I couldn't ask more for a boyfriend like him, :) he's just so awesome, and I'm proud of him...

Today he'll come over and drop his present for me :)))
And he'll visit his grandma and just be really nice with her, oh gee I want to hug him so badly now :)
it's just he's tooo awesome not to have a hug from me :3

And tomorrow he'd like me to come over his house and have dessert with his family :3
Omg, I freaked out when he asked me that,  I really do freaked out :3
and he said he's with me, so I shouldn't be worry about it :) and you know what?
my holiday break is just started! he'll ask me to hang out more often :)
and I just love him and can't even stand not to hold his hand xD

Anyway xD this is my options for my upcoming Prom night
I was leaning to the first one because ; It's red, drapes, satin, and awesome xD

Prom dresses :
Prom dress1
Prom dress2

Prom dress3
Prom dress4
Prom dress5
Prom dress6 

Handicraft :D

V Cutie flower V
http://bleulune.typepad.com/my_weblog/2011/05/52311-1.html

V Vintage Bracelet V
http://www.mysocalledcraftylife.com/2012/09/04/diy-sweet-hankie-bracelets/

V Butterfly chandelier V
http://heartlandpaper.typepad.com/heartland_paper/2009/08/handmade-chandeliers-on-studio-5.html

V Vintage bookmark V
http://pinterest.com/pin/186406872047050359/

V fairy lights V
http://www.prettyquirkypants.com/2012/07/06/diy-tulle-flower-fairy-lights/

V Cool flower V
http://inspiracionhechaamano.blogspot.com/2011/04/camisetas-de-algodon-reutilizacion-como.html

V Plastic flower V
http://www.duitang.com/people/mblog/11693092/detail/

V POMPOMS CUTIE :3 V
http://jenniferjohner.typepad.com/jennifer/2010/05/fabric-pom-pom-garland-tutorial.html

Friday

So today is friday,
and next week I only have 4 days which means additional free weekend for me~


anyway it's getting cold in here, it's always in range 4 celcius till -4 celcius.
I am proud of myself I could get through it everyday

It's pretty fun today, I talked to my exchange student fellow Daniel Beebe,
he's a nice guy , a cool person that I could be hanging out with :)
and Amanda Gaines birthday today which is November 9..
Vanessa's is next August 21.

So I told my story, for my extra credit in my psych class.
My psych class is getting fun and more fun..

and next project coming is to presentate in Sociology and  my English III class.
I still have to email my LC  well I mean I done it :D
so I keep getting crazy about Brandon over and over,
He's cute I love him
I keep thinking to stay with him even our future isn't clear for us.
I have to stop being mean to them, I want to be with him
but in the other side I could not breakup with fael, it's just weird, he's like a really close friend for me

I wish I could meet brandon

and I was thinking to go to the play this sunday at 2 :)
wish i could get some money from holiday present reinbursement

I am tired...

It wasn't mean that I didn't enjoy my life or
something like that it's just somehow I am tired...

I might smile, (yes, tiredly smile)
to people that are celebrating their happiness.
full of friends and love.

and me? I just realize something.
Brandon said I am important to him but he seems don't care about me.
I still haven't trust my sister
I lost the role of big brother in the house

haha~ now I am laughing at my self,
really is that what you think about all of this?

he might not be care but he said i am important to him
my sister sometimes annoying but we love her :)
well my big brother is an xx so i don't really care, since all his care about is his gf
so i am fine :)

what have I done wrong?

Soooo ... Freeday!

Yay today is Friday and I can't wait for weekends :3
This week didn't feels like a week since Hurricane Sandy just hit us hard (bur not hard enough).
I love every seconds of this week...

so I am doing math, doing my hw so I don't have hw this weekends and
It works, I only have a hw in U.S History and also English
which I am going to continue it today but not this time.

"Hey guys, Do you see how amazing math is? (pointed at the whiteboard)

  This is the reason I love math, because math is beautiful."

                                              -Ms. Buscio-

Halloween!

So this is my first halloween ever! and guess what? I love it :)
I mean who don't? carving pumpkins, wearing costumes and also get free candy!
I love it  :3

anyway so after I got home, I start to run to nana's room and help her decorate my dress and it's so pretty~ I love it soo much :) It makes me look like a bride nana laugh suddenly :)
haha so there we go, after like done some stiches
I tried get my self to carved 2 pumpkins for me and Thea.
I made a cat sittin on the roof and also a old style Harry Potter Jack'o Lantern

then trying my outfit which is really awesome, I was thinking to be a kuntilanak
but instead of kuntilanak I became a bride from hell :3
it's just to cute :D

so yea we start trick or treatin at 6pm ish I guess and ends around 9 ish~
oh my god~ from 2 - 3 hours I got a lot of candy.. and I kinda donate some for
the Macy's parade donation that Thea have. And I got that huge jar added with
Amanda Gaines' candies gave me that morning and I am soo happy :)

so yes! i love it, anyway there's a text message from Brandon :)


Me : "I am a dead bride who rose after being abused by her fiance."
Brandon : "Coolness"
Me : ":3 gonna posted my picture later."
Brandon : "OK lol"
Me : "Mwe mwe, I am searching for my groom"
Brandon : "right here"

-smiles- love is always in the air huh? it's just me who didn't notice it :)

Halloween?

So it's halloween huh? anyway it's already 81 days I am here..
It's almost 3 months~ and I am happy I could survive..

So, talking about the Hurricane Sandy, I am fine, it's just a kind of storm...
it's not bigger than the tropical storm that
I used to live with where winds blow my mom's plant and
after the storm we have to gather our plants again..

Good thing they called it day off for the Monday and Tuesday.
So I could rest, taking naps and do something relaxing.

and anyway my halloween costume almost done and I am so proud of my nana~
she took all the credit and it's so beautiful. I love her, the dress is pretty and
it's something that I could pull off anyday.

So I have school tomorrow and I am watching How I met your mother as it's so crazy
I mean I love marshall he just so awesome I mean he dressed up as Eygeptian queen then become
Capt. Jack sparrow :D

thinking about the costumes
we had this event called "Senior Dress up Day parade"
My fellow exchange student whom just came back from Japan around 6 months ago
dressed up as a soldier and he's so cool :) too bad I didn't get his picture.
MacKenzie became a cute Chinese girl and we just love her, :)
and there's also a cute lolita girl in the Toy Story

I wish I could get my feelings right~ :)
-laughing- I love him




caged mind.. waiting the key to open it



i would carve my pumpkin like this :)

:) pretty isn't it

so cute right?

I might gonna do this for my sis b'day :)

-curled on couch-

Why people are not sensitive enough to other's feelings?
It such a selfish thing to do! I want to mad but I can't.. I want to yell but it's useless.. I am dying because there's nothing I can do :( REALIZE IT PLEASE! even I can't love you it hurts to see you get sick and pretends you were fine! I'm moving on but if you do this to me I can't! I can accept you are more close to him than me.. I just need you to rest.. And be fine

sunday post!!

Today is sunday and i love it soo much...

I participate in the church today as it's a world communion as I'm the altar girl and I'm holding the bread.
Instead of saying "The body of Jesus Christ broken for you" I said it in bahasa so "Inilah Tubuh Yesus Kristus yang dipersembahkan untumu" which is a bit crazy I suppose. Since it's ummm~ a methodist church.
so anyway today also my mom's birthday, I dk what to gave her but I'm preparing a song for her.
I'm planning to play it infront of her but my pinkie finger's muscle just have a cramps and I hate it
and i'm trying to finish the chord anyway

and we eat in the Olive garden, as we went to shoes and bags shop :3 *yay* and I try some boots! which is i never thought to wear it but it's awesome :3 knee length is sooo cute! I have to have one :3
anyway I have Venetian Chicken Apricot today and it's awesome, the apricot sauce, Asparagus, broccoli, tomatoes and also the grilled chicken is awesome!!! OMG OMG and the leftover red velvet cheesecake is so suitable with it :3
anyway yesterday we went to Rhode Island to shop at Providence Place which is like Indonesia's PP :D and I love it, geee I buy thea's chrismast present there and I got 6 cool clothes for fall and winter~ :3
it's pretty and I'm dying to buy summer dresses but I can't ;(
anyway that day I start to fall in love in boots :D

haha nevermind I got some cool stuffs and i eat crispy artichoke heart, something like springrolls :3 *OMG I HAVE TO COOK SPRINGROLLS FOR THEM!!!*
and also something like pizza :3

so far I love Massachusetts and I don't wanna leave yet, it's just
will it be the same if I decided to visit them?
I want visit them, with him maybe :) and I'll introduce him to them :)

Fade Now? or Later?

Recent cold makes my grades falling down to B's and I hate it :(
I'm trying my best as I work my ass off, I only do good at math.
My English is a wreck I got 66 only at my essay :(
and the vocabulary test did not satisfy me at all 9 out of 11? Seriously!
I could do better!

I know I'm being pushy to my self, but it's just I could do better.

I felt nostalgic but, not sad. It happens because of the rains recently pouring.
it's just Rain, Wet, Cold, Moist Air, Fall, Red-orange leaves creating weird feeling like a ghost.
When every perfect dream seems foggy.

It doesn't mean I didn't miss my home,
I might missed it but pretends you didn't makes you stronger don't you think so?
I want a good year. A good life.

 

the forgotten one

I know I haven't talk much at this blog. It doesn't mean I forget about this, it's just getting busy.
Things working well here, I haven't cried and missing my home, yet...
but gee I dk when I saw the YBA Karawang's blog I feels like I'm home, and I want to come to their activity and I just realize, " Oh wait! I'm in USA not in Indonesia how do I manage to get there?" and yes, I'm laughing on myself :)

Anyway, my best friend had her sweet seventeen at September 26, so it's recently and I've called her said I love her as my best friend and I do missed her :) she loves my gift to her, and I'm really glad tho she likes it. Then I call Rafael. I miss him so much :) Seeing him feels like a year ago and I like how he made me laugh :)

anyway I think I've entering my curve long time ago and I just realize it :)
see how fake smiles and fake laugh helps you? :)
sometimes you need time for yourself, I'm lucky that I'm working at library where the books are everywhere
surrounds me and I'm not lonely...

And if I do~ I'm craving attention to pets in here, I often hugs Pixie more than everyone does that time. But I still hold on not to cry~ :) I think I need rest, since I need it, and I think I should download some of Yiruma's song. It's soothing~ I feel brave and calm as he speaks through his melody. I want to learn his song...
I know I need to walk outside now :) I'd like to do that after shower maybe :)



another song from yiruma that I just fall for :)
Yiruma - Time Forgets
Yiruma - The View From My Window
Yiruma - Beloved
Yiruma - Sunny Rain
Yiruma - One Day Diary
Yiruma - Dream
Yiruma - Lord.. Hold My Hand
Yiruma - Love Hurts
Yiruma - Tears On Love
Yiruma - Poem

Even you missing someone deeply, keep there, You'll survive.

call me "love me" :)

Love me is actually a song that Yiruma composed 2001 in his album First Love

I missed this song so bad :)
It seems I could see my self and my journey in that song.
It's so soothing, It makes me feels like I don't have to worry about tomorrow and just walk
the path will lead you...

I always cry listening to this one, seeing the sky on Medway sometimes remind me of this song.
Bright blue sky with lots hope and things overwhelmed in my mind.
I'm in love with Massachusetts' sky and also the pretty trees that start to changed as fall coming.

belle.. belle mon journee..

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things 
that escape those who dream only at night.
-Edgar Allen Poe 

good night, bonne nuit mon ami :)

 

little bird came and whisper to me
they said you'll leave, why you should leave?
if you leave will you look after me? If you leave will you talk to me
who will I talk to? will you be there when I need you?
:( I'm sad. Please just stay, why won't you stay?

I didn't move on :)
I just walks and be honest to me, I don't want to think about anything for future :)
all I want to do is treasure each time, :)
and I don't want to stop loving you. because It's just me :)
and Let me love you even you didn't let me, because at least that's the only thing that I couldn't fight

Where are you?

I tried to contact you but i've nothing left.
I try to online both on the chatroom but you never show up.
I missed you please just talk to me, where are you?
:( don't avoid me please, now I'm crazily need and think about you over and over~

-sighs heavily and burst into tears-

Idk~

anyway I keep feeling insecure~ :(
I felt scared, heart broken and starts to get crazy since like it's 2 days I haven't talk to Angelo~ :(
He's giving up on me :( and he said someone will fix me, but I don't want someone I want him :(
I think because of my behavior accusing him and keep behave bad to Novytart made him hate me :(
and it's hurt me badly but I don't want to make him sad, and even pretending also bad for me because I dishonest to him. and now he's keeping a distance and it's hurts to see it like that. I wish I had a chance to see him that it's really hurt me. It's just the feelings for him is true

Supposed to be Sunday :p

Yay it's already Sunday! (read: Monday)
it's already the 4th Sunday that I've been here, staying with the Bouwman-Wozencrafts
It's really fun *saying the "fun" over and over*

This is the first time I've experienced block party at Mad River , Vermont which far away from Massachusetts :D
We went there around 8 and we kinda arrived around 10 or 11ish so yea~ we kinda having tour around while they were preparing the tent, stuffs and activities. I kinda happy to see so many trees were turning to orange-red tree :D
We took a tour to the house that Thea and Mom were volunteering back then, it's awesome, they really do polish it right and make it really nice for art gallery and the other one was this amazing restaurant with so sophisticated design which actually were being soaked in the flood one year ago. Have I told you why do they have a block party? they have it to celebrate that after 1 year building their town which last year were being slammed by flood which wreck everything. so back to the story, we were visiting the 2nd oldest bridge in Vermont which they said that the bridge were haunted *rumors* and then we eat at the Big Pictures restaurant which is they got awesome sandwich, I got BLT sandwich, A slow-cook chilli and also cookie for like $10 :D and the chilli was good, BLT awesome and I must say that's really amazing :)

After that mom, Thea, Tom, me, Deb (mom's friend) and West (Deb's husband) taking a walk around the fair, 5 of us except West visiting the Christmas house! There were soo many stuffed animals and decoration for Christmas. I was so overwhelmed. I hugged stuffed panda, red panda, fox, zebra and so many more they are amazingly soft :D
I didn't believe them when they said that those stuffed animal was handmade! It's pretty and cool, after that I saw so many decoration for christmas and they also said that it's handmade either way! she took me to her sister *she refers to the shop owner* and I saw her and her big kitty as she painted the decoration and the kitty were half sleep :)
those sisters were awesome :D after happy and sad because I don't want to leave that store but we must keep going then we were going to other shop

In this shop this is more like clothing shop which I need to take a look what's it's name again :p
I found so many cute clothes and even mom showed me this pretty dress that will suit me for the prom party :)
I did try and it's amazing, everyone said it looks gorgeous on me but I'm shy and I still couldn't believe it, *too bad didn't took the pic of me using that dress* so in the end I decided to not take that dress too early and move on to the other store.

the other store is the art and board exhibition, she made a board and painted around it and make it really good :) I'm impressed~ I took pic one of them which I think It's really good :) she's an amazing artist. :)

then we move on to the tent where they were selling old books and it's fun we went inside to see the library and there were a book which attracted me and the tittle is "thinker" and the writer was Paul Harding. I tempted to buy that and I ended up didn't buy it :(

so yep~ we moved and go to the stall where they sell drinks :D I ordered Jamaica Lemonade? I suppose something like that, It's a lemonade which added by hibiscus syrup and also ginger and it refresh me a lot! :D Thea struggling to made her mind. We went to the ceramic store which is *awesome* mom buy something but idk what is it, I should took a picture of the wind chimes that is shaped like Easter egg :D

Next we saw so many men dressing up as they wear tux and so many other formal things, they kinda having a speech about for everyone who already contribute to build this city and so on and they had a pretty cool swords that one of them hold and take a tour around the Mad River. next is we went to the Old museum :D and it's awesome, they still have the VW around 1900s? it's just awesome and we played slot lololol and none of me nor Thea made it :p We see some cool stuff and then walk away and run to the Ice cream store :D haha~ I ordered coffeebrownie which is soo tasty :D and idk about the others because it's too weird to being remembered :D

then something funny was happened, as we walk to the center of the fair, we heard thunder as some raindrops pouring behind us and we even saw that it's raining and it's kinda weird since it's like a long distance between us which didn't get poured by the rain and still dry with the other ( 8- 10 meters behind us) were wet because the rain were pouring, so yes we still walk slowly as we heard the raining sound approaching we just ran and hiding under the tent while the rain chasing us and suddenly pouring rains. :D then whenever the music performance want to start perform it's kinda funny, but the rain comes and those big crowd which going to watch them run to the bridge as they hide from the rain :D

haha it's heavily rain like around 20 - 25 mins, after it we just run back to car and stopping by at the glass house which was amazing and beautiful since it's glasses and hand made. and we have to be careful as they are glasses and we might have to pay if we screw up :D after that we're done and heading home passing New Hampshire to just eating dinner at Wendy's :p

so at sunday :D we went to church (mom,Thea and me) and Mr. John gave me my name tag! yay :D  going home, eat dad's cheese ravioli and the sleep for a little :D then we had scout meetings :D mommy signed me in and I was sooo lucky since they have archery and some other things :D It's awesomeeee~

things I've done

 Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Call my LC
3. NewsLetter!
4. Reminds dad to print the pics
5. Send Postcards
6. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
7. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
8. Going to Community service's meeting 9. English reading and do task again :D
10. get my stuff organized
11. scrap books people! :D
12. Going to Vermont :D
13. Read Edgar Allen Poe's Poem
14. Write journal
15. Presentation about Indonesia
16. Walk to the little store near home
17. Go to the library at 4pm every monday and then fixing the schedule

18. asking about the dancing class
19. give Mr. Andreoni the paper.
20. have a video chat with viani this saturday

Messed up

I wish I could told him how I missed him,
I wish I could told him how I care about him
I wish I could told him how I love him dearly

-laughing at my self- haha~ not possible as if you see rainbow before rain,
he's the one who influence my mood and how i think~, so let's see if this condition keep stays like this~ I might being closed my self and even my mind towards anyone and being so cruel. TwT
I can't trust anyone
I don't want trust anyone
because it's always ending up that everything is useless~

I'd love to throw a mirror right now..
it's silly and it drives me crazy~

another Schedule :)

 Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Call my LC
3. NewsLetter!
4. Reminds dad to print the pics
5. Send Postcards
6. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
7. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
8. Going to Community service's meeting
9. English reading and do task again :D
10. get my stuff organized
11. scrap books people! :D
12. Going to Vermont :D
13. Read Edgar Allen Poe's Poem
14. Write journal
15. Presentation about Indonesia
16. Walk to the little store near home
17. Go to the library at 4pm every monday and then fixing the schedule

18. asking about the dancing class
19. give Mr. Andreoni the paper.
20. have a video chat with viani this saturday

:) this is the quote that amazed me today

 

Oh wow, I might want to try to make these and sell them :D

this is one of the things that I might to try

schedule for tonights work and what to do

Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. Review unit 4 ( U.S History ) mini essay and complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Intro unit 3 ( Science of Human behavior) mini essay
3. Read the script till Mr. Hale come to The Proctor's house to investigate them and describe the conversations and make mini essay
4. Talk to Bill from the library and re-schedule the volunteering work
5. Call my LC
6. Visit Mrs. Campana after school
7. Give mom the colorful papers
8. NewsLetter!
9. Reminds dad to print the pics
10. Send Postcards
11. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
12. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
13. Going to Community service's meeting
14. to be declared...

kawaiii videos :D

nyaaann i found so many kawai videos!!

1. Hatsune miku dance!!
Hatsune mikuuu :D

2. Gummi and len :3 I love them <3

Gummii and len  

3. Rin kagamine :)
rin kagamine :)

4. Super kawaii :D

kawai

5. another rin kagamine :)
here click me :D

6. saxobeat miku :)
miku is here :D

7. saxobeat len kagamine :D

len kagamine

8.pink rose len kagamine 

pink rose

9. kagamine rin

:) here rin :D

10. another len :)

len kagamine

11. Megurine luka

megurine luka :)

Bright Monday :)

Yay monday!
labour day so we got day off  and we decided to go to MFA or Museum Fine Arts which located at boston and yay another walking and eating together with the fam :)

we walk around we visited European site, contemporary site , Asia site, America site next are Egyptian site and Greek site and it's the end~ then visiting the Gift shop haha i need to upload some pictures so you guys could see it and a new record I could read a 200 pages book in one day before 7pm here :p
haha I'm soooo awesome lols

Sunday! Hallelujah :)

So today is sunday! *cheers* haha~ I always love sunday <3

Today I woke up around 7 and thinking it's late and I started my day a little bit screwed up :) so yea :)
I wear batik today to go to the church and my church is a methodist one which means it's kinda similar with my catholic church that I went back when I was in Indonesia. And this service was all about the preparation of thanksgiving day :) so yeah Kommuni *term in indonesia* I missed it soo bad, and I'm so grateful that we actually have "Give thanks" song in our worship song list for today and I'm sooo happy *cheers again*

then helped dad prepared lunch and I'm so happy when all the family gathered around and sat on the table and discussed about something~ :) well I'm sorry I never eat while all my family gathered together. It feels great they kinda welcome me ;)
and then rest a bit then took a walk when suddenly raining , so we were walking under the rain *cheers and gazed at the people who don't like me getting wet from the rain* YES PEOPLE!! YES ! I'm walking under the rain with my host parents and also thea :D whatcha gonna do huh? :D kill me, try me :D
so yea it's ends the evening walk then we went to Walmart, to search a sim card for me and it turned out they didn't have it so we check the T-mobile store and it's closed *so sad* and then go to the Barneys and Nobels and it's also closed, so yea, poor me and dad, so mom get back to Walmart and picked some stuffs :3
and tomorrow we gonna try to pick the simcard thingy again.

then we went home, mom surely take me to her library giving me 2 books of Edgar Allen Poe which is our favorite writer and those books will keep me busy :)  Mom talked to me about dogs and the dogs that she had kept as a pet. then, mom and dad showed me some pictures about the winter, the mountains we're going to climb soon and floods, and snow and also Tim the other exchange student :) and it's sooo awesome :) then Thea showed me some of her movies that she made herself and she, Tom and me we laughed loudly till mom could heard it across the room. and she updated her status
"Listening to all three kids laughing in the other room....I've waited years for them to get to age where they like each other. :)"
It's really sweet and I'm so surprised either way :) she's surely a good mom :)

ooh and Tom makes peanut butter cookie :3 can't wait to eat it tomorrow :)
nyaann that's all for tonight I'm tired and it's already almost 11: 25 p.m here so i need to get some sleep and then go somewhere tomorrow :D

bye and have a cozy night all ;)

FYI

awweehh this picture is so cute, :)

anyway I find this!!
and this is a kind of really good things to do :3

flowery :D

and a nice photograph and this plant is the same plant that mom have in our garden :3

Cookies!!! I love this <3 <3

 

this video to end my day :)

Caturday! :D lols

Yay it's saturday :D

nyaaann, so my activities today are ...

nguuu RPing session with my lovely sis Theodora, my brother Tom, my sis friends Ashley, Sam Fierro and Sam
until around 3ish and it's really cool :3

anyway after that my bro take me to get a breeze around his college, Becker College and met some of his friends
then after that the other building in Leichester, Massachusetts then after it we go to Sturbridge having dinner and ice cream :3and it's soooo amazing :3

after that going home and watching "Doctor Who" new season :3
and seriously this Doctor Who thingy really hypnotized me , I love mom and thea because they "infect" me and it's amazinggg! I didn't regret it :3

Homesick

Today is friday! *d'uh*

After the 2nd tiring day of school well it's exciting
except Mr. Hoek my chemistry teacher gave us a video quiz or something like that and I couldn't catch up.
Now I believe I might got D or even C :(
anyway, I do have fun :3

Haha I start to feel homesick? idk It's just I couldn't believe it's already 3 weeks *yay*
and I kinda still felt that this is only a dream. So yes, haha I don't know what is this feeling :)

and I remember before my departure I promise my self if you felt a little lost, hear this song or search this song
what exactly song that I search?
it's actually Michael Buble's song, "Home" but it's Damian McGinty who sang it

It's really helping me out after hearing it :) It may seems sad but remember this is your dream~
and would you spend your dream with all the sorrow and gloomy thing? of course no right? :)

so keep surviving, keep your head high, keep smiling as it nothing happened and keep your face bright :)
there are so many things that you should do :)

yay! first day of school

Yay~ Today is my first day of school and it feels good yet also tired,

why?

because most my class are around the first floor and my locker is at base floor which mean i have to carry crazy thick book around me the whole time till my English class :)

anyway these are my classes that I took for my whole year :
- Science of behavior (psychology) accelerated
- Sociology accelerated
- U.S. History part II accelerated
- English III accelerated
- Pre - Calculus accelerated
- Chemistry accelerated
- P.E
- Study hall :)

so that were the things that I faced today and it's kinda amazes me a bit how I can manage to do it :)
and I went to home around 3 p.m ish (sorry if i didn't online) well it should be 2 p.m ish
and besides that I meet new friends :3
 Rebecca my sis' friends, she's cool
 Samantha Fierro one of my sis' friends and she's into the RP group we joined
 Andrew my sis' friend also, he's awesome :D
 Dan , ex-exchange student which just come home and move from South Carolina to Medway, MA
 and one of my friend she's amazing, She's in the same pre-calc math with me, she went to King Philip High School ans she got transferred to Medway High School :)

about clubs? idk I havent decided yet, anyway it's late already I need to sleep ~
I'm gonna miss ya ~ nighttt

23rd aug

one word, this is CHAOTIC and I trapped in a problem, I can't find my way out, I have a fight with Angelo and my anemia suddenly appear, seriously? this is really a wreck, I should settle this problem first so this thing won't bother me at all~ *sighs heavily and falls on the bed*

2nd day at massachusetts

so 2nd in here? how it feels?

lol it feels amazing, so here we were...

I woke up at around 6 (exclude mandi) and I walked down to listened my host dad played his piano. So we talked a little about some classical music which I really into and he let me read some of cool and funny biography of several amazing composer, then what happened next was a young little boy around 13 years old came followed my host mom, she introduced him to me, his name is Will , and he's my host mom nephew? sort of like that. He reminds me of my bro tho, the diff is he (Will) interested in skateboarding

I helped Tom with the cooler, watching Will practicing his ollie move and then not long after that mom took me to the store where we ordered Tom's birthday cake the day before. While Tom and Theodora doing other thing.
soon the party starts, it's only tom's closest friend who come tho and the fam, too bad Tom blows the candle too fast and i only got his pic while he holding his cake. TwT

They just madly play and sit infront of the screen playing artemis :D while in the evening mom took me and Theodora went to the park and go to a secret path to go to the school, it's awesome actually , and i don't mind doing it again :) because we were talking about clubs and teachers with their subjects :)

End of day 2

one of my fave song, it gives a different perspective of my life...

i could cry and i could sad, being happy and smile isn't as easy as it looks
but we try our best right to see the bright side of it ;)

Rainbow

Fallin' out, fallin' in
Nothing's sure in this world no, no
Breakin' out, breakin' in
Never knowin' what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, just/please smile
Coz i'm always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies color's
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Ohh, whoa

Hittin' high, hittin' low
Win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no

Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Coz i'm always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear coz I know now
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
Coz you're strong my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this worlds wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

early week at Massachussets

Perhaps this is kind of too late to publish but I don't care anyway :D

so here I am at Medway, Massachussets.
 
   Probably you guys won't realize how scared I was when I'm going to Rhode Island before going to massachussets.
   I was at Dulles airport, Washington D.C at 5.00 am it's quite scary tho, Jane one of our leader said i'm the only one who will going to Rhode Island. *shoots* I'm the only one? really? and one of the group leader i forgot who is she but I'm thankful to her, my plane's gate is changed from 6D to 28C

but again being alone in that flight makes me nervous, tho I can't do anything, i was like look outside the window and sleeps, that's all i do, I'm anxious I remember what Angelo (Toya) said to me, that i should be brave, then i remember Kyle (Qwerty) that he's sad when i leave him. and that gives me a boost to just face anything that would happened.
so there i am, looking down to my new family. the Bouwman-Wozencraft. they are so friendly tho.
my mom and there standing along with theodora my host sister and also tommy my host brother. it's quite funny tho that he was having his birthday that day when i was arrived :)

so after packing at home we went to "the rome" where my mom takes me to have lunch together with mom's relatives. seeing medway is amazing, the town is full of the woods it's just full of beautiful breeze. after that we planned to buy him a present we starts our "scavanger hunt" and it's sooo fun! we close our day with dinner with nana, mom, tom, thea and me :)

tho when i go to bed i felt a little home sick :) remembering Rafael, Angelo, my natural parents, my exchange students friend, and so manythings that could create tears, i remembering them as i fall asleep :)

TwT

i can't open my e-mail can someone helps?

Farewell

I write this post while crying and I'm swearing it's the truth. I know I started to act childish and selfish thinking not as correct as it should be.

I just blown off my chance to spend the rest day with him but In the end I just leave him because I was sleeping and keep blaming my self why you being so stupid because you leave him and you can't never and ever see him again...

I'm sad, and I don't know when I could see him again. I keep thinking "please let me home before departure, please.." because I want to see him again and again and again~ and stop hurt him.

I do cried after read some chat history before he left. It's painful, it keeps making me tearing over and over again. I do realize that we both can't move on and stuck in the same points where we both need each other. 

to be honest I'm aware of his feelings and my own true feelings, this isn't a lie this isn't fake this is the truth, I'm not dizzy I'm steady, I'm not lying I'm being honest and the deepest and the darkest sea won't be compared with how deep it is. (poetic? idk I'm just hopeless)
I'm trying to cheer my self with words but it won't work~ I'm craving for his presence. He's the one who always got my back~ please If I could turn on the time, I could go back and talk to him over and over and over, waited till he falls asleep.

but i can't and it's a regrets, this is for you, I'm sorry i can't properly said I'm sorry and also goodbye because i can't say it properly. I'm so lost now and yet I'm sad. when I said goodbye it's like let go the bonds that we've create, and I don't want it~ this is quite a real pain~ really a pain~

he do things for me and I just treat him like that, well he had a right to mad at me and yell at me but he didn't do it, ~ oh my God what i just do? I let someone dear to my heart just go.

I want to see him more often after this quarantine. 

thank you for the song, you reminds me to keeps happy yet when ever i hear it I felt happy and miss you in the same time,

thank you and my feelings won't change for you since the first time i said it to you

Rainbow - South Border

When I'm home I'll be waiting there for you. Missing you and smiling to welcome you back

best regards,

Bella..

I love Kebaya!

Good morning :) since it's 12 am already.. 

  And I'm as fresh as a horse (what kind of proverb is that?)

Nevermind anyway~ Today when I was shopping I bought this shinning blouse, 

    they called it "Kebaya"

Perhaps you guys were asking, 

         "What actually Kebaya is?" 

                                  "How to wear it? What kind of occasion that we wear kebaya?"

  Hold on guys! :) I'll tell about it One by ONE :D

  Q : 

What is kebaya? 

A :

 A traditional blouse-dress combination, worn by women from Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, Burma, Singapore and also Southern Thailand. It made from sheer material such as silk, thin cotton or 

semi-transparent nylon or polyester and adorned with barocade or floral pattern embriodery.

Usually worn with sarung, or long batik, and also with other traditional woven garment as ikat,

songket with colorful motif. Kebaya is a national costume of Indonesia, because it's more accurately endemic to Javanese, Sundanese and Balinese people

Q :  

How to wear it? and what occasion?

A : 

Wearing a kebaya is like wearing a buttoned blouse, you have to wear inner first 

and then the kebaya or Indonesian people also created modern kebaya with a zipper infront of it 

so it should be easy to use and to wear :)

what kind of occasion hm?

well, It could be used for casual if it's the modern kebaya one , so they can pair it with jeans :)

but if the traditional one usually wear for wedding ceremony or formal occasion

they also wear kebaya too for  dance :)

Here's some pics of my kebaya :DD

Do I look weird?
a Chinese girl with kebaya :D

Again I felt not so comfy since I sit like Japanese people :D

Sitting like that makes my legs numb :3

My kebaya with a long Batik :) i like the underneath of my batik :)

haha~ so formal? not really I made a stupid face at right one :D

Hi ! I'm the next mojang karawang ( Miss Karawang ) *lols* 

*wishing to be true*

Nighty night guys thanks for come over :)

See ya till next post! *waves*

my fear

What did you think about heavy rain?

- Lots of water droplets.

- Lightning strikes anything.

- The sound of the thunder.



I always love rain, but yet get scared of heavy rain,

And now, I feel heavy rain already poured lots of water droplets.
The lighting strikes anything that I have and I treasure the most.
I'm scared the powerful wind just blow me away and I have nothing to hold on to.

That's the analogy to describes what I feel now.

Angelo, honestly I consider him as my friend. He helped me with my essay and I said something wrong and he pissed off or either disappointed. Then he said he'll leave me. He's the best kind of friend that I've ever had. He understands me a lot and I keep wishing that he shouldn't be gone. Since I really like being around him. If he read this I wanted to say that this is, isn't his fault, it's mine. I'm being fake because i'm afraid of being lonely

That also associate me with my boyfriend, Rafael Tria. He's such a good man and he cares a lot for me, He always there waiting for me. He tries his best to make me happy and smiles. And I let him down because I'm getting busy and he lacked of my attentions. We had a big argue today. To be honest he's my guy. He is the guy who knows me and I can't let him go. A year with him were amazing and I got addicted to him. I don't want it to stop. He's my happiness, what would I do without him? I love being in love with him.

It also relates to my best friend, Brandon. I shouldn't let you talk to me in the beginning, I know that you are so nice to me and thanks for being my friend. Thanks a lot to show me how cool friendship could it be, and how hard you survived. How people being unfair to you but you have to face it. I'm sorry to say like that to you, I know it's unfair , I should know better that you could be my friend who can always gives me great advice about anything and debating with me. I'm afraid that you can't accept my history and my past.

You guys , each of you got something that I really scared of ...

The one that I love have my happiness, My right hand man have my trust and my best friend have the power of acceptance/


I'm sorry if I do stupid things, being idiot who can't express herself , being drama queen , I hate being praised, I keep making people hurt and sad and make them keep waiting for uncertainty.

I'm afraid if I had to lose them that I consider as my best friend. They helped me and I'm grateful.

If only I could turn time, I wish I don't want to make mistakes. Since they are my real friends. I want to apology for everything that I did... I can't say much I wish you guys know how sorry I am, I know my words are the only thing that could hold on to. But for this time, just let me have them. I don't want to lose them.


nights guys~

Thursday, July 19, 2012
1 : 10 am @ Karawang, Indonesia

leadership inspiration

This is actually one of my task but..
    I really want to share this to you guys also :D

"Why?"

You guys must be questioning :)

Because this is how I see world in my own paradigm and this is how he makes it come true.

"Diversity in the world is a basic characteristic of human society and also the key condition for a lively and dynamic world as we see today."

                                                                                                - Jinato Hu

From the past until now, diversity is one of the major factors of synergism the world. Acceptance and respect from one person to another is what diversity is all about. It's quite common that we always see it in our social life. But, people misunderstood what the true meaning of diversity is itself. Why should they think diversity is a weakness? Should we consider it as a hindrance to everyone?

For example in Indonesia around 241 million people have different bloodlines such as Chinese bloodlines, Indonesian bloodlines, Indian bloodlines and some of European bloodlines. Each city has different ethnics, 5 different religions and many things that could cause them different from others till it's almost impossible to see a person who is really 99% the same like us. These uniqueness and diversity make any country grow stronger because of them, the amazing paradigm came from.

Perhaps you remember one of Napoleon Bonaparte's quote "A leader is a dealer in hope." .

Which shows us that a good leader also brings good hopes, not just empty and fake hopes. Speaking of hope there were many famous leader in Indonesia. Some of them created amazing things that has brought Indonesia one step closer to a whole new level. This leader brought hope to Indonesia. To create a united Indonesia.

That was exactly what he did. He made the minority united with the majority. In Indonesia Chinese is the minority race and he was an Indonesian leader who also had Chinese blood. He helped Chinese race in Indonesia to grow and to express themselves freely and also untied them from racism such as sexual harassment, mass destruction and anti-Chinese paradigm. Because, he knew without the help of Chinese people living in Indonesia, we couldn't taste the feeling of being an independent country.


Around 1967, Chinese people were considered as foreigners which had a lower status than the Indonesian people. Indirectly, they erased Chinese people's right. The freedom of speech was prohibited, forbidden to use Mandarin or Cantonese and even considered that Konghucu (Chinese people's beliefs) wasn't a religion. What was the reason the government did that? Simple answer, they were afraid because Chinese people were considered as communists. And also there were some crucial points happened when it came to the end of president Soeharto's government era. Many Chinese people were murdered, raped,  harassed and assaulted, and many more because of racial demonstration.


 The man who helped Chinese race was  Gus Dur or we called him Abdurahman Wahid. As fresh as a breeze, He was the one who adopted universal humanism when he was the president. He thought that Chinese people deserved to be a part of Indonesia and it's not because he had a little bit of Chinese bloodlines. He revoked laws that forbidding Chinese people from expressing themselves. He gave his biggest appreciation to them and even declared Lunar New Year as national holiday in Indonesia.


Why do I admire Gus Dur? first, because he creates unity between the minority with the majority. what will happened if that unity never appear? me, myself perhaps won't be exist now. I have Chinese bloodlines and perhaps they will hunt my family and killed of my family and another Chinese family. Will Indonesia be the same as the Indonesia we saw today? We saw Indonesia with many race and also ethnic, If there weren't any unity between the minority and the majority, Indonesia won't be as strong as now. Indonesia strong because of the diversity. Different paradigms brings this county move to another level and open the people's mind to a thing that outside our range and understands it instead judging it.


Second, I admire him because he was so commit to do something about humanity. I mean if he were acting so selfish, He would said with or without minority Indonesia would be the same. Same like what Soeharto did in his era. Instead of doing it he made the minority also had the same rights as the other ethnic, he stop all the violence, he stand up for the minority honored the diversity and as Abraham Lincoln say, "everyone is equal". He appreciate each ethnic and bloodlines because their uniqueness and Let the get their rights and free from racism that happened in Indonesia

Transformation

It's so long since I decided to wrote and fill this blog again :D
haha yes! call me lazy and so on~ I just let some inspiration slipped away from my mind.

Anyway months passed by and I've changed slowly,
too bad I can't post it . I wish you guys can follow how much I've been growing up.
you guys gonna be so proud of me ^_^v

I got shocking news yesterday since I getting my eyes checked and the one that checked my eyes said that
my astigmatism gone which is a yay *cheering* and my minus were added till 1.50 which is ... *lower kitty ears*. haha it's pretty awfull from 0.25 on my right eyes to 1.50 both eyes , well I won't lie but I love wearing glasses :D

Next is I got a pair of Chuck Taylor converse and it's color are illusion blue and gray, nyehehe~ I'm so happy and also I got a hair cut. This hair cut makes me remember the time I entered my first year of senior high school. The time I came as a single fighter without no dreams or goal :)

haha I'll post some pic then so you can see me :D

hehe, sorry... :D I should trust my bf, he's right I can't wink :D

haha once, twice, three times failed :D even winking need a lot of effort haha

I'm using Webcam Toy from google apps and it's cool :)

lawls~ glasses on head sooo not cool :D I wiped my glasses after it :D

anyway that's for today! haha see you tmr :DD

formspring.me

Ask me questions about indonesia http://www.formspring.me/bellahuang

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Ask me anything http://www.formspring.me/bellahuang

it's never too late

Have you seen someone who really needs a help but no one there except you?

Have you seen someone who lost and need a direction but don't know whom to ask?

Have you felt those kind of situation? lost, confused and need help but you can't find anyone to help you..

           Try to imagine that was you , who lost and need help :) you expect people to help you no matter what happened right? but the truth is no one cares and make you feels so depressed right?

           But what if that happened to the other people? will you be care enough to help them?

will you be wise enough to stop them from feeling depressed?

helping is never too late, if u had a will there's always a way to walk,

a path to walk, a street to run. try to be a good person,

by helping people, the kindness chain will be created, and that chain will getting stronger and stronger...

and you know what? it also turn back again to us :)

remember about these word?
"what comes around will turn around"

good deed will always back to whom did it, 

it's like a chain , a gear, it always came back :)

so don't waste any time to do something useless while you can be a hero

for people out here by just helping them, 

help people who not only cried out loud 

but also who cried silently :)

because, who knows that you might just saved their soul and lives :)

I'm grateful of everything that happened to me

                           When bad things happened to me I always think that bad things is always happened to me and I continuously thinking that my self is the victim of all these things. 

              

Which is I realizeed that is wrong thing to do. 

I can mad I can disappointed as much as I want, I can cried but I can't run. I can hurt my self but I can't avoid it.

                but those feelings are temporary. it won't last long. 

             bad things won't make your day become bad day right? there's going to be someone who save your day by making u smile and laugh. 

what I want to say in here is, accept the reality, you can't run or even hide from it. You just can change it from yourself, not other things outside you.

and someday you'll see how grateful you are that that things happened to you. those bad things build you and make u a better person, it's make u stronger and learn it not to make the same mistake as you did before.

honestly this things always happened to me. and thanks to God he makes me more successful than before.

It makes me learn that behind bad lucks it's always have good lucks behind of it :)

enjoy your day keep smiling and keep grateful okay :3