Monday, June 17, 2013

Just another day.

it's been a long time that I've wrote another post.

and, I just wanna say for everything that happened to me were happening for some reason.

Looking back at my past, I always online at drrrchat. last year, with kyle, angelo, dylan, and paige. I was childish, mean and slick. I changed. today I stand by myself, being extremely independent, mean and fully developing empathy and also fragile. 
   I remember that day when people still know me and talk to me. Once they stop. They really stop talking to you and that happened. Since Kyle lost memories about me, he don't know me anymore and in the same time, Novy came and replace my spot. I felt like my world was crashed. I had none to depend. Angelo ask me to be friends with novy and also kyle, but i can't. I sense that there's something between novy and angelo itself, I was mad ... and desperate to get attention. Dylan was there when i need someone. I love him, he love me and I never give him answer... until I know, he date Paige. I've determined... I should buried myself in the crowd. between people i don't know and i don't trust. I was like a lost and wounded kitten, who seek for comfort. Those things nurture me in a wrong and right way. makes me play dirty to everyone, I seek praises, I am the perfect friend, daughter, sister, and human. Say nothing anymore... I lost and I start pushes my old friend away from me, particularly Dylan. he talk to me a lot, and so am I...
  I... I was sad. I was an outcast  because of  them ... I try not to look back, burn anything that remind me to them. I was send back home that time and i contact them. Angelo didn't have any time to listen to me, he distracted about how worried he is to Novy being sick than me Going to mental hospital and have a chance to have a suicide action. I do that not because I need attention. I was send to mental hospital because.. Because I can't endure that wound that they create too long. added with some "molesting" that happened and some "tension" at my place that time. I can't hold it... and i think to do a suicide

Dylan was the only one who listen to me and care to me a lot. He came to me to ask me am I okay every time he sees something wrong with my skype. and i keep push him away. and recently he came back to me. I'm glad he came, because i miss him and can't endure more the pain. 

Today I was really grateful that he.. is with me now. and he make me happy in every way. I just love him so much.. more ... He want to help me with my depression and I am glad. very glad he came back. even the guy that I used to love, Angelo. make my chest hurt like hell and makes my tears feels like needles to my eyes. He still calm me down and make me laugh. Dylan's heavy voice, soft gaze really soothe me. I would do anything to make him happy if it should be facing my own self.

hope we last till next month, and next month I will hope the same, "last till next month" and keep on and on :)
because forever is mainstream and ever is too much :)

I love you, Dylan

Friday, December 28, 2012

Pretty Christmas and beautiful love :)

Hi minna-san!

I have the best Xmas ever,

We woke up at 8ish waiting everyone to woke up :3 since Tom was the only one who haven't woke up yet.
after that we had breakfast, dad made the most gorgeous cheese pizza.
 Then we started to looked into our stockings! OMG I got lacy gloves and it's pink, it's just sooo awesome!
there's also the fingertip less gloves and hand warmer, leg warmer and more.
the other part of awesomeness was we're going to Boston at new year's eve :D

so we start to open the real gift,
I got fluffy white jacket and PJ from dad's parents, $40 from granddad and Grand Cheryl :3
I got lacy white dress that I wanted and also the cool old vintage watch-necklace that I look at the newburry comics
then 3 books ; The voice, Edgar Allen Poe's Masterpiece, and also the modern poetry 'Letter for My Daughter' , and a pair of awesome converse from my parents. :D
and Thea got me the doll from Wreck-It-Ralph and also the black cat keychain from Kiki the Messenger ;D
Tom got me starter set for jewelery making :D
and Nana got me my starter knitting set and also a cool wool jacket :D I love them and I cried twice :D

then I called my parents, my real parents,
I'm so happy that they have a Christmas tree up even they made it up by themselves, :)
I'm so glad, I am really glad. It mean a lot to me, I believe they appreciate more about what i think :)
so, yes, after that we discuss a lot, we talked how mom lose the vote to go shopping since none back up her choice,
when I was there I always back up my mom's voice  to go shopping :D

after that Sean , my boyfriend texted me he'll dropped my present before lunch.
I tried to persuade him to dressed up I mean, dressed up in nice buttoned shirt, tie , pants and shoes
like what he did at homecoming dance.
he really amazed me that day, he look sharp :)
 so we're sitting around while I opened his gift :)
he drew us! and it's the most sweetest thing he made for me :)
he got me an animal plushie and also a little stand decoration for my phone :3
cutie rite? ;D

then we had dinner with my family, too bad Sean have to helped his mom cook :3
we have really awesome lunch-dinner :D
and then have really awesome home made cheese cake that mom made,
and we just hangout with aunt Christa and Will :)

then Sean picked me up at 7.20 (which is so late -_-) he introduced me to his family and relatives,
I'm so overwhelmed, I talked to Kayla and she's nice even Sean think she's mean o.o
he showed me his bedroom and some of his hunting stuff :3
his bedroom was awesomely neat! I feel bad for myself because I'm a girl and I didn't do as neat as him :D
we spend our night talking at his bedroom and cuddling around :3
He love me! and I love him i think I made a good choice to force him to dress up :D
he kissed me and i'm so overwhelmed :D

Best Christmas ever :)

the next day we watched Les Miserables :)
which took 2.5 hours, then Sean asked me weather mom could drop me at his house,
Thea and Matt surprised because he came from a rich family :)
I didn't think he's rich, I mean I don't really care weather he's rich or average normal economy class,
he just Sean in my eyes. I love him because he always love me and made me smile ;)
I spend like 4 hours at his place we cuddle at his couch, and it's just so cute, he love me :D
i teased him that he's trying to abused me :P
then I was hungry and he try to made me a soup :3
and it's just fail :3
his mom told me it was just the broth :D
and she gave me the real soup and it was awesome it remind me of my family, too bad i can't cry~
since i already cry for an hour :(

and he took me to the 3rd floor , told his parents we're going to watch movie but actually no :P
we just cuddling around play truth or dare and kissing :D
lols, it's just a fun night :)
then when his mom drive me home, it was snowing :)
and we both walk under the snow and he kissed me before I go into my house~
seriously, he's the perfect bf ever! i just love him so bad :)

Monday, December 24, 2012

24th December!!

So it's day 2 after 'The end of the world' day

 I'm still breathing, sit on the chair as my finger keeps typing xD

Anyway, I have to told you that this month been so nice to me, really nice to me.
About there's something about this guy that asked me to dance with him at homecoming :)

I told you already his name is Sean :3
and it turned out we like each other and at December 8 was our first date, :3
I really have fun with him and his friends, and we start dating since then !! *blushes and died*
So yea, last night I'm so glad he came over and met my mom :)
I'm so happy that my mom seemed like him, and he handled the conversation excellently!
I couldn't ask more for a boyfriend like him, :) he's just so awesome, and I'm proud of him...

Today he'll come over and drop his present for me :)))
And he'll visit his grandma and just be really nice with her, oh gee I want to hug him so badly now :)
it's just he's tooo awesome not to have a hug from me :3

And tomorrow he'd like me to come over his house and have dessert with his family :3
Omg, I freaked out when he asked me that,  I really do freaked out :3
and he said he's with me, so I shouldn't be worry about it :) and you know what?
my holiday break is just started! he'll ask me to hang out more often :)
and I just love him and can't even stand not to hold his hand xD

Anyway xD this is my options for my upcoming Prom night
I was leaning to the first one because ; It's red, drapes, satin, and awesome xD

Prom dresses :
Prom dress1
Prom dress2

Prom dress3
Prom dress4
Prom dress5
Prom dress6 

Friday, November 30, 2012

Handicraft :D

V Cutie flower V

V Vintage Bracelet V

V Butterfly chandelier V

V Vintage bookmark V

V fairy lights V

V Cool flower V

V Plastic flower V


Friday, November 9, 2012


So today is friday,
and next week I only have 4 days which means additional free weekend for me~

anyway it's getting cold in here, it's always in range 4 celcius till -4 celcius.
I am proud of myself I could get through it everyday

It's pretty fun today, I talked to my exchange student fellow Daniel Beebe,
he's a nice guy , a cool person that I could be hanging out with :)
and Amanda Gaines birthday today which is November 9..
Vanessa's is next August 21.

So I told my story, for my extra credit in my psych class.
My psych class is getting fun and more fun..

and next project coming is to presentate in Sociology and  my English III class.
I still have to email my LC  well I mean I done it :D
so I keep getting crazy about Brandon over and over,
He's cute I love him
I keep thinking to stay with him even our future isn't clear for us.
I have to stop being mean to them, I want to be with him
but in the other side I could not breakup with fael, it's just weird, he's like a really close friend for me

I wish I could meet brandon

and I was thinking to go to the play this sunday at 2 :)
wish i could get some money from holiday present reinbursement