the forgotten one

I know I haven't talk much at this blog. It doesn't mean I forget about this, it's just getting busy.
Things working well here, I haven't cried and missing my home, yet...
but gee I dk when I saw the YBA Karawang's blog I feels like I'm home, and I want to come to their activity and I just realize, " Oh wait! I'm in USA not in Indonesia how do I manage to get there?" and yes, I'm laughing on myself :)

Anyway, my best friend had her sweet seventeen at September 26, so it's recently and I've called her said I love her as my best friend and I do missed her :) she loves my gift to her, and I'm really glad tho she likes it. Then I call Rafael. I miss him so much :) Seeing him feels like a year ago and I like how he made me laugh :)

anyway I think I've entering my curve long time ago and I just realize it :)
see how fake smiles and fake laugh helps you? :)
sometimes you need time for yourself, I'm lucky that I'm working at library where the books are everywhere
surrounds me and I'm not lonely...

And if I do~ I'm craving attention to pets in here, I often hugs Pixie more than everyone does that time. But I still hold on not to cry~ :) I think I need rest, since I need it, and I think I should download some of Yiruma's song. It's soothing~ I feel brave and calm as he speaks through his melody. I want to learn his song...
I know I need to walk outside now :) I'd like to do that after shower maybe :)



another song from yiruma that I just fall for :)
Yiruma - Time Forgets
Yiruma - The View From My Window
Yiruma - Beloved
Yiruma - Sunny Rain
Yiruma - One Day Diary
Yiruma - Dream
Yiruma - Lord.. Hold My Hand
Yiruma - Love Hurts
Yiruma - Tears On Love
Yiruma - Poem

Even you missing someone deeply, keep there, You'll survive.

call me "love me" :)

Love me is actually a song that Yiruma composed 2001 in his album First Love

I missed this song so bad :)
It seems I could see my self and my journey in that song.
It's so soothing, It makes me feels like I don't have to worry about tomorrow and just walk
the path will lead you...

I always cry listening to this one, seeing the sky on Medway sometimes remind me of this song.
Bright blue sky with lots hope and things overwhelmed in my mind.
I'm in love with Massachusetts' sky and also the pretty trees that start to changed as fall coming.

belle.. belle mon journee..

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things 
that escape those who dream only at night.
-Edgar Allen Poe 

good night, bonne nuit mon ami :)

 

little bird came and whisper to me
they said you'll leave, why you should leave?
if you leave will you look after me? If you leave will you talk to me
who will I talk to? will you be there when I need you?
:( I'm sad. Please just stay, why won't you stay?

I didn't move on :)
I just walks and be honest to me, I don't want to think about anything for future :)
all I want to do is treasure each time, :)
and I don't want to stop loving you. because It's just me :)
and Let me love you even you didn't let me, because at least that's the only thing that I couldn't fight

Where are you?

I tried to contact you but i've nothing left.
I try to online both on the chatroom but you never show up.
I missed you please just talk to me, where are you?
:( don't avoid me please, now I'm crazily need and think about you over and over~

-sighs heavily and burst into tears-

Idk~

anyway I keep feeling insecure~ :(
I felt scared, heart broken and starts to get crazy since like it's 2 days I haven't talk to Angelo~ :(
He's giving up on me :( and he said someone will fix me, but I don't want someone I want him :(
I think because of my behavior accusing him and keep behave bad to Novytart made him hate me :(
and it's hurt me badly but I don't want to make him sad, and even pretending also bad for me because I dishonest to him. and now he's keeping a distance and it's hurts to see it like that. I wish I had a chance to see him that it's really hurt me. It's just the feelings for him is true

Supposed to be Sunday :p

Yay it's already Sunday! (read: Monday)
it's already the 4th Sunday that I've been here, staying with the Bouwman-Wozencrafts
It's really fun *saying the "fun" over and over*

This is the first time I've experienced block party at Mad River , Vermont which far away from Massachusetts :D
We went there around 8 and we kinda arrived around 10 or 11ish so yea~ we kinda having tour around while they were preparing the tent, stuffs and activities. I kinda happy to see so many trees were turning to orange-red tree :D
We took a tour to the house that Thea and Mom were volunteering back then, it's awesome, they really do polish it right and make it really nice for art gallery and the other one was this amazing restaurant with so sophisticated design which actually were being soaked in the flood one year ago. Have I told you why do they have a block party? they have it to celebrate that after 1 year building their town which last year were being slammed by flood which wreck everything. so back to the story, we were visiting the 2nd oldest bridge in Vermont which they said that the bridge were haunted *rumors* and then we eat at the Big Pictures restaurant which is they got awesome sandwich, I got BLT sandwich, A slow-cook chilli and also cookie for like $10 :D and the chilli was good, BLT awesome and I must say that's really amazing :)

After that mom, Thea, Tom, me, Deb (mom's friend) and West (Deb's husband) taking a walk around the fair, 5 of us except West visiting the Christmas house! There were soo many stuffed animals and decoration for Christmas. I was so overwhelmed. I hugged stuffed panda, red panda, fox, zebra and so many more they are amazingly soft :D
I didn't believe them when they said that those stuffed animal was handmade! It's pretty and cool, after that I saw so many decoration for christmas and they also said that it's handmade either way! she took me to her sister *she refers to the shop owner* and I saw her and her big kitty as she painted the decoration and the kitty were half sleep :)
those sisters were awesome :D after happy and sad because I don't want to leave that store but we must keep going then we were going to other shop

In this shop this is more like clothing shop which I need to take a look what's it's name again :p
I found so many cute clothes and even mom showed me this pretty dress that will suit me for the prom party :)
I did try and it's amazing, everyone said it looks gorgeous on me but I'm shy and I still couldn't believe it, *too bad didn't took the pic of me using that dress* so in the end I decided to not take that dress too early and move on to the other store.

the other store is the art and board exhibition, she made a board and painted around it and make it really good :) I'm impressed~ I took pic one of them which I think It's really good :) she's an amazing artist. :)

then we move on to the tent where they were selling old books and it's fun we went inside to see the library and there were a book which attracted me and the tittle is "thinker" and the writer was Paul Harding. I tempted to buy that and I ended up didn't buy it :(

so yep~ we moved and go to the stall where they sell drinks :D I ordered Jamaica Lemonade? I suppose something like that, It's a lemonade which added by hibiscus syrup and also ginger and it refresh me a lot! :D Thea struggling to made her mind. We went to the ceramic store which is *awesome* mom buy something but idk what is it, I should took a picture of the wind chimes that is shaped like Easter egg :D

Next we saw so many men dressing up as they wear tux and so many other formal things, they kinda having a speech about for everyone who already contribute to build this city and so on and they had a pretty cool swords that one of them hold and take a tour around the Mad River. next is we went to the Old museum :D and it's awesome, they still have the VW around 1900s? it's just awesome and we played slot lololol and none of me nor Thea made it :p We see some cool stuff and then walk away and run to the Ice cream store :D haha~ I ordered coffeebrownie which is soo tasty :D and idk about the others because it's too weird to being remembered :D

then something funny was happened, as we walk to the center of the fair, we heard thunder as some raindrops pouring behind us and we even saw that it's raining and it's kinda weird since it's like a long distance between us which didn't get poured by the rain and still dry with the other ( 8- 10 meters behind us) were wet because the rain were pouring, so yes we still walk slowly as we heard the raining sound approaching we just ran and hiding under the tent while the rain chasing us and suddenly pouring rains. :D then whenever the music performance want to start perform it's kinda funny, but the rain comes and those big crowd which going to watch them run to the bridge as they hide from the rain :D

haha it's heavily rain like around 20 - 25 mins, after it we just run back to car and stopping by at the glass house which was amazing and beautiful since it's glasses and hand made. and we have to be careful as they are glasses and we might have to pay if we screw up :D after that we're done and heading home passing New Hampshire to just eating dinner at Wendy's :p

so at sunday :D we went to church (mom,Thea and me) and Mr. John gave me my name tag! yay :D  going home, eat dad's cheese ravioli and the sleep for a little :D then we had scout meetings :D mommy signed me in and I was sooo lucky since they have archery and some other things :D It's awesomeeee~

things I've done

 Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Call my LC
3. NewsLetter!
4. Reminds dad to print the pics
5. Send Postcards
6. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
7. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
8. Going to Community service's meeting 9. English reading and do task again :D
10. get my stuff organized
11. scrap books people! :D
12. Going to Vermont :D
13. Read Edgar Allen Poe's Poem
14. Write journal
15. Presentation about Indonesia
16. Walk to the little store near home
17. Go to the library at 4pm every monday and then fixing the schedule

18. asking about the dancing class
19. give Mr. Andreoni the paper.
20. have a video chat with viani this saturday

Messed up

I wish I could told him how I missed him,
I wish I could told him how I care about him
I wish I could told him how I love him dearly

-laughing at my self- haha~ not possible as if you see rainbow before rain,
he's the one who influence my mood and how i think~, so let's see if this condition keep stays like this~ I might being closed my self and even my mind towards anyone and being so cruel. TwT
I can't trust anyone
I don't want trust anyone
because it's always ending up that everything is useless~

I'd love to throw a mirror right now..
it's silly and it drives me crazy~

another Schedule :)

 Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Call my LC
3. NewsLetter!
4. Reminds dad to print the pics
5. Send Postcards
6. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
7. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
8. Going to Community service's meeting
9. English reading and do task again :D
10. get my stuff organized
11. scrap books people! :D
12. Going to Vermont :D
13. Read Edgar Allen Poe's Poem
14. Write journal
15. Presentation about Indonesia
16. Walk to the little store near home
17. Go to the library at 4pm every monday and then fixing the schedule

18. asking about the dancing class
19. give Mr. Andreoni the paper.
20. have a video chat with viani this saturday

:) this is the quote that amazed me today

 

Oh wow, I might want to try to make these and sell them :D

this is one of the things that I might to try

schedule for tonights work and what to do

Listing Home work or task that i could do this week :
1. Review unit 4 ( U.S History ) mini essay and complete the task behind the flow chart
2. Intro unit 3 ( Science of Human behavior) mini essay
3. Read the script till Mr. Hale come to The Proctor's house to investigate them and describe the conversations and make mini essay
4. Talk to Bill from the library and re-schedule the volunteering work
5. Call my LC
6. Visit Mrs. Campana after school
7. Give mom the colorful papers
8. NewsLetter!
9. Reminds dad to print the pics
10. Send Postcards
11. Going to TADA's meeting at next weds
12. Going to Science Olympiads' meeting
13. Going to Community service's meeting
14. to be declared...

kawaiii videos :D

nyaaann i found so many kawai videos!!

1. Hatsune miku dance!!
Hatsune mikuuu :D

2. Gummi and len :3 I love them <3

Gummii and len  

3. Rin kagamine :)
rin kagamine :)

4. Super kawaii :D

kawai

5. another rin kagamine :)
here click me :D

6. saxobeat miku :)
miku is here :D

7. saxobeat len kagamine :D

len kagamine

8.pink rose len kagamine 

pink rose

9. kagamine rin

:) here rin :D

10. another len :)

len kagamine

11. Megurine luka

megurine luka :)

Bright Monday :)

Yay monday!
labour day so we got day off  and we decided to go to MFA or Museum Fine Arts which located at boston and yay another walking and eating together with the fam :)

we walk around we visited European site, contemporary site , Asia site, America site next are Egyptian site and Greek site and it's the end~ then visiting the Gift shop haha i need to upload some pictures so you guys could see it and a new record I could read a 200 pages book in one day before 7pm here :p
haha I'm soooo awesome lols

Sunday! Hallelujah :)

So today is sunday! *cheers* haha~ I always love sunday <3

Today I woke up around 7 and thinking it's late and I started my day a little bit screwed up :) so yea :)
I wear batik today to go to the church and my church is a methodist one which means it's kinda similar with my catholic church that I went back when I was in Indonesia. And this service was all about the preparation of thanksgiving day :) so yeah Kommuni *term in indonesia* I missed it soo bad, and I'm so grateful that we actually have "Give thanks" song in our worship song list for today and I'm sooo happy *cheers again*

then helped dad prepared lunch and I'm so happy when all the family gathered around and sat on the table and discussed about something~ :) well I'm sorry I never eat while all my family gathered together. It feels great they kinda welcome me ;)
and then rest a bit then took a walk when suddenly raining , so we were walking under the rain *cheers and gazed at the people who don't like me getting wet from the rain* YES PEOPLE!! YES ! I'm walking under the rain with my host parents and also thea :D whatcha gonna do huh? :D kill me, try me :D
so yea it's ends the evening walk then we went to Walmart, to search a sim card for me and it turned out they didn't have it so we check the T-mobile store and it's closed *so sad* and then go to the Barneys and Nobels and it's also closed, so yea, poor me and dad, so mom get back to Walmart and picked some stuffs :3
and tomorrow we gonna try to pick the simcard thingy again.

then we went home, mom surely take me to her library giving me 2 books of Edgar Allen Poe which is our favorite writer and those books will keep me busy :)  Mom talked to me about dogs and the dogs that she had kept as a pet. then, mom and dad showed me some pictures about the winter, the mountains we're going to climb soon and floods, and snow and also Tim the other exchange student :) and it's sooo awesome :) then Thea showed me some of her movies that she made herself and she, Tom and me we laughed loudly till mom could heard it across the room. and she updated her status
"Listening to all three kids laughing in the other room....I've waited years for them to get to age where they like each other. :)"
It's really sweet and I'm so surprised either way :) she's surely a good mom :)

ooh and Tom makes peanut butter cookie :3 can't wait to eat it tomorrow :)
nyaann that's all for tonight I'm tired and it's already almost 11: 25 p.m here so i need to get some sleep and then go somewhere tomorrow :D

bye and have a cozy night all ;)

FYI

awweehh this picture is so cute, :)

anyway I find this!!
and this is a kind of really good things to do :3

flowery :D

and a nice photograph and this plant is the same plant that mom have in our garden :3

Cookies!!! I love this <3 <3

 

this video to end my day :)

Caturday! :D lols

Yay it's saturday :D

nyaaann, so my activities today are ...

nguuu RPing session with my lovely sis Theodora, my brother Tom, my sis friends Ashley, Sam Fierro and Sam
until around 3ish and it's really cool :3

anyway after that my bro take me to get a breeze around his college, Becker College and met some of his friends
then after that the other building in Leichester, Massachusetts then after it we go to Sturbridge having dinner and ice cream :3and it's soooo amazing :3

after that going home and watching "Doctor Who" new season :3
and seriously this Doctor Who thingy really hypnotized me , I love mom and thea because they "infect" me and it's amazinggg! I didn't regret it :3