Fade Now? or Later?

Recent cold makes my grades falling down to B's and I hate it :(
I'm trying my best as I work my ass off, I only do good at math.
My English is a wreck I got 66 only at my essay :(
and the vocabulary test did not satisfy me at all 9 out of 11? Seriously!
I could do better!

I know I'm being pushy to my self, but it's just I could do better.

I felt nostalgic but, not sad. It happens because of the rains recently pouring.
it's just Rain, Wet, Cold, Moist Air, Fall, Red-orange leaves creating weird feeling like a ghost.
When every perfect dream seems foggy.

It doesn't mean I didn't miss my home,
I might missed it but pretends you didn't makes you stronger don't you think so?
I want a good year. A good life.

 

the forgotten one

I know I haven't talk much at this blog. It doesn't mean I forget about this, it's just getting busy.
Things working well here, I haven't cried and missing my home, yet...
but gee I dk when I saw the YBA Karawang's blog I feels like I'm home, and I want to come to their activity and I just realize, " Oh wait! I'm in USA not in Indonesia how do I manage to get there?" and yes, I'm laughing on myself :)

Anyway, my best friend had her sweet seventeen at September 26, so it's recently and I've called her said I love her as my best friend and I do missed her :) she loves my gift to her, and I'm really glad tho she likes it. Then I call Rafael. I miss him so much :) Seeing him feels like a year ago and I like how he made me laugh :)

anyway I think I've entering my curve long time ago and I just realize it :)
see how fake smiles and fake laugh helps you? :)
sometimes you need time for yourself, I'm lucky that I'm working at library where the books are everywhere
surrounds me and I'm not lonely...

And if I do~ I'm craving attention to pets in here, I often hugs Pixie more than everyone does that time. But I still hold on not to cry~ :) I think I need rest, since I need it, and I think I should download some of Yiruma's song. It's soothing~ I feel brave and calm as he speaks through his melody. I want to learn his song...
I know I need to walk outside now :) I'd like to do that after shower maybe :)



another song from yiruma that I just fall for :)
Yiruma - Time Forgets
Yiruma - The View From My Window
Yiruma - Beloved
Yiruma - Sunny Rain
Yiruma - One Day Diary
Yiruma - Dream
Yiruma - Lord.. Hold My Hand
Yiruma - Love Hurts
Yiruma - Tears On Love
Yiruma - Poem

Even you missing someone deeply, keep there, You'll survive.

I'm grateful of everything that happened to me

                           When bad things happened to me I always think that bad things is always happened to me and I continuously thinking that my self is the victim of all these things. 

              

Which is I realizeed that is wrong thing to do. 

I can mad I can disappointed as much as I want, I can cried but I can't run. I can hurt my self but I can't avoid it.

                but those feelings are temporary. it won't last long. 

             bad things won't make your day become bad day right? there's going to be someone who save your day by making u smile and laugh. 

what I want to say in here is, accept the reality, you can't run or even hide from it. You just can change it from yourself, not other things outside you.

and someday you'll see how grateful you are that that things happened to you. those bad things build you and make u a better person, it's make u stronger and learn it not to make the same mistake as you did before.

honestly this things always happened to me. and thanks to God he makes me more successful than before.

It makes me learn that behind bad lucks it's always have good lucks behind of it :)

enjoy your day keep smiling and keep grateful okay :3

                  

no sara but it's reality...

ehem, i really wrote this thing not for rasisct (sorry misspell) or SARA
but i just want to compare between this country and australia

seriously i like to watch masterchef australia ,
and now in indonesia we got masterchef indonesia
am i rite?

you know, i'm a little bit happy about our country and totally disappointed with our nation
why?
australia, they are fights for they dream, they NEVER, EVER crush other people dream
they know it is a compitition but they still help each other to developing their talents and
share how to be a great cook, they don't want the weakest one, they want the strongest one
to determind the bar of acivement for them...

but the opposite one is from indonesia, they easilly crush others dream..
throwing the good quality and five star talented into garbage, i mean what was that?
they cut the best from all one by one. they pick easy opponent to lower the bar of achievement
well, seriously? and lots , lots of drama happened, seriously !

but one contestant , her name is vero (not promoted or judge)
she's very willing, then opportunity came to her she used it as best she can give,
so she could back in the track and more enthusiasm (sorry misspell) to be the best
and better than before ...

(isn't it good?)
well, every single thing that we do in our life actually a competition like that...
there's always a goal which lots of people want to achieve that , but we must choose how
we react to others, will we help? will we just bring they down or if i down, i'll make you down either...

the choice is inside you would you challenge ur self and ur friends to be more
focus to achieving more and more or you just giving an effort not a good one, just standard
to achieve your goal, and concentrate (sorry misspell) to make others down

your path, your choice