I am tired...

It wasn't mean that I didn't enjoy my life or
something like that it's just somehow I am tired...

I might smile, (yes, tiredly smile)
to people that are celebrating their happiness.
full of friends and love.

and me? I just realize something.
Brandon said I am important to him but he seems don't care about me.
I still haven't trust my sister
I lost the role of big brother in the house

haha~ now I am laughing at my self,
really is that what you think about all of this?

he might not be care but he said i am important to him
my sister sometimes annoying but we love her :)
well my big brother is an xx so i don't really care, since all his care about is his gf
so i am fine :)

what have I done wrong?

Halloween!

So this is my first halloween ever! and guess what? I love it :)
I mean who don't? carving pumpkins, wearing costumes and also get free candy!
I love it  :3

anyway so after I got home, I start to run to nana's room and help her decorate my dress and it's so pretty~ I love it soo much :) It makes me look like a bride nana laugh suddenly :)
haha so there we go, after like done some stiches
I tried get my self to carved 2 pumpkins for me and Thea.
I made a cat sittin on the roof and also a old style Harry Potter Jack'o Lantern

then trying my outfit which is really awesome, I was thinking to be a kuntilanak
but instead of kuntilanak I became a bride from hell :3
it's just to cute :D

so yea we start trick or treatin at 6pm ish I guess and ends around 9 ish~
oh my god~ from 2 - 3 hours I got a lot of candy.. and I kinda donate some for
the Macy's parade donation that Thea have. And I got that huge jar added with
Amanda Gaines' candies gave me that morning and I am soo happy :)

so yes! i love it, anyway there's a text message from Brandon :)


Me : "I am a dead bride who rose after being abused by her fiance."
Brandon : "Coolness"
Me : ":3 gonna posted my picture later."
Brandon : "OK lol"
Me : "Mwe mwe, I am searching for my groom"
Brandon : "right here"

-smiles- love is always in the air huh? it's just me who didn't notice it :)

Halloween?

So it's halloween huh? anyway it's already 81 days I am here..
It's almost 3 months~ and I am happy I could survive..

So, talking about the Hurricane Sandy, I am fine, it's just a kind of storm...
it's not bigger than the tropical storm that
I used to live with where winds blow my mom's plant and
after the storm we have to gather our plants again..

Good thing they called it day off for the Monday and Tuesday.
So I could rest, taking naps and do something relaxing.

and anyway my halloween costume almost done and I am so proud of my nana~
she took all the credit and it's so beautiful. I love her, the dress is pretty and
it's something that I could pull off anyday.

So I have school tomorrow and I am watching How I met your mother as it's so crazy
I mean I love marshall he just so awesome I mean he dressed up as Eygeptian queen then become
Capt. Jack sparrow :D

thinking about the costumes
we had this event called "Senior Dress up Day parade"
My fellow exchange student whom just came back from Japan around 6 months ago
dressed up as a soldier and he's so cool :) too bad I didn't get his picture.
MacKenzie became a cute Chinese girl and we just love her, :)
and there's also a cute lolita girl in the Toy Story

I wish I could get my feelings right~ :)
-laughing- I love him




caged mind.. waiting the key to open it



i would carve my pumpkin like this :)

:) pretty isn't it

so cute right?

I might gonna do this for my sis b'day :)

the forgotten one

I know I haven't talk much at this blog. It doesn't mean I forget about this, it's just getting busy.
Things working well here, I haven't cried and missing my home, yet...
but gee I dk when I saw the YBA Karawang's blog I feels like I'm home, and I want to come to their activity and I just realize, " Oh wait! I'm in USA not in Indonesia how do I manage to get there?" and yes, I'm laughing on myself :)

Anyway, my best friend had her sweet seventeen at September 26, so it's recently and I've called her said I love her as my best friend and I do missed her :) she loves my gift to her, and I'm really glad tho she likes it. Then I call Rafael. I miss him so much :) Seeing him feels like a year ago and I like how he made me laugh :)

anyway I think I've entering my curve long time ago and I just realize it :)
see how fake smiles and fake laugh helps you? :)
sometimes you need time for yourself, I'm lucky that I'm working at library where the books are everywhere
surrounds me and I'm not lonely...

And if I do~ I'm craving attention to pets in here, I often hugs Pixie more than everyone does that time. But I still hold on not to cry~ :) I think I need rest, since I need it, and I think I should download some of Yiruma's song. It's soothing~ I feel brave and calm as he speaks through his melody. I want to learn his song...
I know I need to walk outside now :) I'd like to do that after shower maybe :)



another song from yiruma that I just fall for :)
Yiruma - Time Forgets
Yiruma - The View From My Window
Yiruma - Beloved
Yiruma - Sunny Rain
Yiruma - One Day Diary
Yiruma - Dream
Yiruma - Lord.. Hold My Hand
Yiruma - Love Hurts
Yiruma - Tears On Love
Yiruma - Poem

Even you missing someone deeply, keep there, You'll survive.

I'm grateful of everything that happened to me

                           When bad things happened to me I always think that bad things is always happened to me and I continuously thinking that my self is the victim of all these things. 

              

Which is I realizeed that is wrong thing to do. 

I can mad I can disappointed as much as I want, I can cried but I can't run. I can hurt my self but I can't avoid it.

                but those feelings are temporary. it won't last long. 

             bad things won't make your day become bad day right? there's going to be someone who save your day by making u smile and laugh. 

what I want to say in here is, accept the reality, you can't run or even hide from it. You just can change it from yourself, not other things outside you.

and someday you'll see how grateful you are that that things happened to you. those bad things build you and make u a better person, it's make u stronger and learn it not to make the same mistake as you did before.

honestly this things always happened to me. and thanks to God he makes me more successful than before.

It makes me learn that behind bad lucks it's always have good lucks behind of it :)

enjoy your day keep smiling and keep grateful okay :3

                  

no sara but it's reality...

ehem, i really wrote this thing not for rasisct (sorry misspell) or SARA
but i just want to compare between this country and australia

seriously i like to watch masterchef australia ,
and now in indonesia we got masterchef indonesia
am i rite?

you know, i'm a little bit happy about our country and totally disappointed with our nation
why?
australia, they are fights for they dream, they NEVER, EVER crush other people dream
they know it is a compitition but they still help each other to developing their talents and
share how to be a great cook, they don't want the weakest one, they want the strongest one
to determind the bar of acivement for them...

but the opposite one is from indonesia, they easilly crush others dream..
throwing the good quality and five star talented into garbage, i mean what was that?
they cut the best from all one by one. they pick easy opponent to lower the bar of achievement
well, seriously? and lots , lots of drama happened, seriously !

but one contestant , her name is vero (not promoted or judge)
she's very willing, then opportunity came to her she used it as best she can give,
so she could back in the track and more enthusiasm (sorry misspell) to be the best
and better than before ...

(isn't it good?)
well, every single thing that we do in our life actually a competition like that...
there's always a goal which lots of people want to achieve that , but we must choose how
we react to others, will we help? will we just bring they down or if i down, i'll make you down either...

the choice is inside you would you challenge ur self and ur friends to be more
focus to achieving more and more or you just giving an effort not a good one, just standard
to achieve your goal, and concentrate (sorry misspell) to make others down

your path, your choice

complaining about the crap

talking on both past theme in this life lesson is about maturity rite?

 well one thing that show you still childish is complaining ...

i know i know you all must be disagree, complain is one way to blame other things outside us to make us feel better.. but actually it's so right as it so wrong..

have you heard that every action we take it is how we choose the action ?

yeah think about it now...
              what happened to you right now, isn't because other people or things are mean to you
it what have you choose before ...

if choose wisely then it's all good thing will happened to you,
               if you're not, well if you too sloppy to pick it, well not a good thing will happened to you

but , seriously ...
    no one deserve to be blame by your choice...

think about it, and keep feeling grateful for what have you choose before :)
jesus bless all of us :)

being mature understand more in love

i know this is could not in my rules, 1 day = 2 stories
   but who cares :)


mature in love ,, diffrent things from mature...
         okay , I learn this from my friend's sister...

have you ever felt that sometimes you get spoilt by your bf?
      i know it feels that you got his spot light

but do you ever think, ever care about his life?
         i mean he must be have another thing that he should do, his life isn't just about you

            now listen to me, doesn't it feels better if you could make  him happier?
more comfy with you? listen what do you want more?
the main point of relationship is how you be the one for him...

how you make him more comfy with you than oter people does..

start with giving attention, starts talking what he loves,
               not to spoil to him.. really take care him well..
make him special, i believe, i do believe...

he'll change, he loves you more...
              keep being you and keep him happy..
if you got a problem , solve it slowly... think which choice is better for both of you...

:) jesus bless you

mature or not mature it's in you...

      " being old is never a choice

                              but being mature is a choice "

mature , a level , a situation when we could react as our age...

                   the opposite ? childish of course ...

childish : a pattern of thinking " I'm still a kid, i could do what ever i want ! "
                            which is unappropriate for their age .

being mature is never too late. being mature = being more wiser

  * sorry if my degree of comparison is bad ^^a *

                                            being wise is not only by giving wishdom to every one,

          writing wise story or just nagging to ur friends when they got something wrong.

        but being wise is how you apply ur own wisdom to your life and act appropriately

        as your age. Don't  forget to keep feeling grateful for everything we had.

why people want to be mature ?

 ~ they realize their time is priceless. and what they do is useless. in the end,

                                 they want to fix all their mistakes and being mature.

or

~ they had enough fun in their child and they want to move to be a diffrent person...

that's all about maturity ;)
                                                         God bless you guys :)

from crap to hero and maybe zero

lot of people are just a big crap...
i got a friend like that...


every time i heard he says a crap ...
really wanna wake him up
and says,
  " you think that ease?
   try to do something under pressure like i do "

but seriously guys...

those crap maker actually want to get attention by their close friend
they just want to be considered as a " hero " not " zero "
 isn't that all we want too? consider as a  hero...
     but sometimes our environment isn't as soft as we think...

life is harsh, we should fight for our self, sometimes people mock you,
your friends stab you from ur back
keep look straight...

keep smiling, and keep doing good thing.. you  might be not a hero for them
but you are a hero for yourself...
you are a surviver in this harsh world :)

GBu :]

being extrovert is never wrong

rite now i'm in bandung :)
seriously, i'm not having a holiday, i 'm here for bringing my school's name for OSN

but one thing i learn today, i like seeing new people.
like this chapter, now i'm being extrovert.. i 'm trying to meeting new people...
i'm opening my heart and my self to be who i am...

it never wrong to be open up...
but listen, it never wrong.. being your self is just who you are...

doesn't matter if they just accept it or not... it just you
^^

God bless ^^

let us dream beyond infinity

Dreaming is never considered a mistake...

but people said day dreaming is wasting your time...
for me it never a mistake..

inspiration and creativity comes from your day dreaming..
one thing that i learn a dream could be come true if we just follow it with heart, passion and hard work..

each of it have a part of success
from my point of view their part are ::

:: Heart

do what you like make you feels happy right?
your day feels so lighter.. and doesn't it make you sweeten your life...
you felt that you had a spirit to living your life...


:: Passion

passion is kind of spirit, kind of energetic feelings that you
felt before, after, and during doing things that you love..

it keeps you still want you to search in your life.


:: Hard Work

seeing everything could be happened  it just so cheerful..
but if you just talk and not do the talk it just useless then you are wasting your time..
but if you do believe and do that dream,  it will make us produce something that could be remembered


God Bless ^^

before you love just let it go first

you know what broken hearted feels?
so painful right?

but after that you will felt there's a feeling that you want to let it go
your happiness want your sorrow gone but your sorrow want to stay...

i warn you before you start your new love story..
clean your mind first..

painful is it? but stay straight, i'll gave you some tips

STOP STARING AT HER / HIS PHOTO

by looking at his or her photo, you make your self remember her / his. just stop staring..
even how hard it is, how difficult it is... just accept it

TIME IS YOUR FRIEND

time is your friend, time will help you forget him / her by and by... and when you realize
you will felt so empty but just hold on

NEVER EVER CHANGE YOUR MIND

if you broken up with him, and you think this is the best way to deal it..
so just do it, never regretted what you did...
it will shows that you are strong and yo deserve better


i think that's enough for now..
see you later ^^

being grateful

Being Gratefull for what we have is just such a beautiful feelings that we should felt...

start from a little thing,
till this second, you are still BREATHING
you are still have PARENTS
you are still have FRIENDS
you are blessed with complete BODY
you still can SPEAK
you still can SEE
you still can MOVE
you still can HEAR
you still can SMELL
more important you still have HEART and BRAIN to think and to logic what will you do...
guys, can you just imagine if now,
this second we are blessed with this complete body and maybe the next day, we are mute
we are paralyzed, we are deaf, we are blind, and we can't smell any thing
or we just lost our friends,, our familly,, or we just died in the next day...

who knows that will be happened to us?

lots and lots of people blessed with complete body, but the unlucky one might me not as complete as us..
but you know, they still gratefull and maybe some of them just thinking and regretted,
"why i'm born like this?"
"why i just don't same like them?"

STOP REGRETING YOUR SELF

STOP FELT SORRY FOR YOUR SELF

STOP TREATING YOUR SELF LIKE A VICTIM BEHIND THIS.

it's useless if you felt like that, God create us diffrent. God love us in every way, one of his way to love us is giving us the weakness..
so we could make our weakness into a strength that everybody can't see...
keep being gratefull, cuz there's a lot of them don't have what God had given you today :]

GOD BLESS ALWAYS ^^

first love story

love is so beautiful rite?

so beautiful even it can make you cry, and laugh in the same time
it can make you awake when you sleep,
it touches your heart
sometimes true love really moved you so much
to do something outside beyond

love begins from affective
when you feel so comfy with them you won't let it just go and slipped from you hands
but when you hold it too tights, it will go from you
like when you holding sands tightly it will slip off through spaces between your fingers...

when you had love in your hands.
please, appreciate it, you're lucky to have it in yours...
when you can't keep a faith in him/ her remember the last time he/ she said love to you
make a beautiful memory with him / her...
even they just come over to your heart, they'll make a beatiful craft on your heart
it will be there, forever,

but you'll know the last love of your life
will be the best you ever had :))