Halloween!

So this is my first halloween ever! and guess what? I love it :)
I mean who don't? carving pumpkins, wearing costumes and also get free candy!
I love it  :3

anyway so after I got home, I start to run to nana's room and help her decorate my dress and it's so pretty~ I love it soo much :) It makes me look like a bride nana laugh suddenly :)
haha so there we go, after like done some stiches
I tried get my self to carved 2 pumpkins for me and Thea.
I made a cat sittin on the roof and also a old style Harry Potter Jack'o Lantern

then trying my outfit which is really awesome, I was thinking to be a kuntilanak
but instead of kuntilanak I became a bride from hell :3
it's just to cute :D

so yea we start trick or treatin at 6pm ish I guess and ends around 9 ish~
oh my god~ from 2 - 3 hours I got a lot of candy.. and I kinda donate some for
the Macy's parade donation that Thea have. And I got that huge jar added with
Amanda Gaines' candies gave me that morning and I am soo happy :)

so yes! i love it, anyway there's a text message from Brandon :)


Me : "I am a dead bride who rose after being abused by her fiance."
Brandon : "Coolness"
Me : ":3 gonna posted my picture later."
Brandon : "OK lol"
Me : "Mwe mwe, I am searching for my groom"
Brandon : "right here"

-smiles- love is always in the air huh? it's just me who didn't notice it :)

-curled on couch-

Why people are not sensitive enough to other's feelings?
It such a selfish thing to do! I want to mad but I can't.. I want to yell but it's useless.. I am dying because there's nothing I can do :( REALIZE IT PLEASE! even I can't love you it hurts to see you get sick and pretends you were fine! I'm moving on but if you do this to me I can't! I can accept you are more close to him than me.. I just need you to rest.. And be fine

sunday post!!

Today is sunday and i love it soo much...

I participate in the church today as it's a world communion as I'm the altar girl and I'm holding the bread.
Instead of saying "The body of Jesus Christ broken for you" I said it in bahasa so "Inilah Tubuh Yesus Kristus yang dipersembahkan untumu" which is a bit crazy I suppose. Since it's ummm~ a methodist church.
so anyway today also my mom's birthday, I dk what to gave her but I'm preparing a song for her.
I'm planning to play it infront of her but my pinkie finger's muscle just have a cramps and I hate it
and i'm trying to finish the chord anyway

and we eat in the Olive garden, as we went to shoes and bags shop :3 *yay* and I try some boots! which is i never thought to wear it but it's awesome :3 knee length is sooo cute! I have to have one :3
anyway I have Venetian Chicken Apricot today and it's awesome, the apricot sauce, Asparagus, broccoli, tomatoes and also the grilled chicken is awesome!!! OMG OMG and the leftover red velvet cheesecake is so suitable with it :3
anyway yesterday we went to Rhode Island to shop at Providence Place which is like Indonesia's PP :D and I love it, geee I buy thea's chrismast present there and I got 6 cool clothes for fall and winter~ :3
it's pretty and I'm dying to buy summer dresses but I can't ;(
anyway that day I start to fall in love in boots :D

haha nevermind I got some cool stuffs and i eat crispy artichoke heart, something like springrolls :3 *OMG I HAVE TO COOK SPRINGROLLS FOR THEM!!!*
and also something like pizza :3

so far I love Massachusetts and I don't wanna leave yet, it's just
will it be the same if I decided to visit them?
I want visit them, with him maybe :) and I'll introduce him to them :)

Fade Now? or Later?

Recent cold makes my grades falling down to B's and I hate it :(
I'm trying my best as I work my ass off, I only do good at math.
My English is a wreck I got 66 only at my essay :(
and the vocabulary test did not satisfy me at all 9 out of 11? Seriously!
I could do better!

I know I'm being pushy to my self, but it's just I could do better.

I felt nostalgic but, not sad. It happens because of the rains recently pouring.
it's just Rain, Wet, Cold, Moist Air, Fall, Red-orange leaves creating weird feeling like a ghost.
When every perfect dream seems foggy.

It doesn't mean I didn't miss my home,
I might missed it but pretends you didn't makes you stronger don't you think so?
I want a good year. A good life.

 

the forgotten one

I know I haven't talk much at this blog. It doesn't mean I forget about this, it's just getting busy.
Things working well here, I haven't cried and missing my home, yet...
but gee I dk when I saw the YBA Karawang's blog I feels like I'm home, and I want to come to their activity and I just realize, " Oh wait! I'm in USA not in Indonesia how do I manage to get there?" and yes, I'm laughing on myself :)

Anyway, my best friend had her sweet seventeen at September 26, so it's recently and I've called her said I love her as my best friend and I do missed her :) she loves my gift to her, and I'm really glad tho she likes it. Then I call Rafael. I miss him so much :) Seeing him feels like a year ago and I like how he made me laugh :)

anyway I think I've entering my curve long time ago and I just realize it :)
see how fake smiles and fake laugh helps you? :)
sometimes you need time for yourself, I'm lucky that I'm working at library where the books are everywhere
surrounds me and I'm not lonely...

And if I do~ I'm craving attention to pets in here, I often hugs Pixie more than everyone does that time. But I still hold on not to cry~ :) I think I need rest, since I need it, and I think I should download some of Yiruma's song. It's soothing~ I feel brave and calm as he speaks through his melody. I want to learn his song...
I know I need to walk outside now :) I'd like to do that after shower maybe :)



another song from yiruma that I just fall for :)
Yiruma - Time Forgets
Yiruma - The View From My Window
Yiruma - Beloved
Yiruma - Sunny Rain
Yiruma - One Day Diary
Yiruma - Dream
Yiruma - Lord.. Hold My Hand
Yiruma - Love Hurts
Yiruma - Tears On Love
Yiruma - Poem

Even you missing someone deeply, keep there, You'll survive.

Transformation

It's so long since I decided to wrote and fill this blog again :D
haha yes! call me lazy and so on~ I just let some inspiration slipped away from my mind.

Anyway months passed by and I've changed slowly,
too bad I can't post it . I wish you guys can follow how much I've been growing up.
you guys gonna be so proud of me ^_^v

I got shocking news yesterday since I getting my eyes checked and the one that checked my eyes said that
my astigmatism gone which is a yay *cheering* and my minus were added till 1.50 which is ... *lower kitty ears*. haha it's pretty awfull from 0.25 on my right eyes to 1.50 both eyes , well I won't lie but I love wearing glasses :D

Next is I got a pair of Chuck Taylor converse and it's color are illusion blue and gray, nyehehe~ I'm so happy and also I got a hair cut. This hair cut makes me remember the time I entered my first year of senior high school. The time I came as a single fighter without no dreams or goal :)

haha I'll post some pic then so you can see me :D

hehe, sorry... :D I should trust my bf, he's right I can't wink :D

haha once, twice, three times failed :D even winking need a lot of effort haha

I'm using Webcam Toy from google apps and it's cool :)

lawls~ glasses on head sooo not cool :D I wiped my glasses after it :D

anyway that's for today! haha see you tmr :DD

when get down don't get down

really i hate when things get down,  one thing i kinda feels is why everythin happened this way?
i'm trying not to complain, but it turns lot more worse than ever~
and i just get dragged more to the endless hole full with desperate~
things that just turns out more crazy, i search more escape and escape from many things i do~

and it just doesn't work~:(
and i cried lot more than ever seeing all my hard work crash with my dream~