I am tired...

It wasn't mean that I didn't enjoy my life or
something like that it's just somehow I am tired...

I might smile, (yes, tiredly smile)
to people that are celebrating their happiness.
full of friends and love.

and me? I just realize something.
Brandon said I am important to him but he seems don't care about me.
I still haven't trust my sister
I lost the role of big brother in the house

haha~ now I am laughing at my self,
really is that what you think about all of this?

he might not be care but he said i am important to him
my sister sometimes annoying but we love her :)
well my big brother is an xx so i don't really care, since all his care about is his gf
so i am fine :)

what have I done wrong?

Soooo ... Freeday!

Yay today is Friday and I can't wait for weekends :3
This week didn't feels like a week since Hurricane Sandy just hit us hard (bur not hard enough).
I love every seconds of this week...

so I am doing math, doing my hw so I don't have hw this weekends and
It works, I only have a hw in U.S History and also English
which I am going to continue it today but not this time.

"Hey guys, Do you see how amazing math is? (pointed at the whiteboard)

  This is the reason I love math, because math is beautiful."

                                              -Ms. Buscio-

Halloween!

So this is my first halloween ever! and guess what? I love it :)
I mean who don't? carving pumpkins, wearing costumes and also get free candy!
I love it  :3

anyway so after I got home, I start to run to nana's room and help her decorate my dress and it's so pretty~ I love it soo much :) It makes me look like a bride nana laugh suddenly :)
haha so there we go, after like done some stiches
I tried get my self to carved 2 pumpkins for me and Thea.
I made a cat sittin on the roof and also a old style Harry Potter Jack'o Lantern

then trying my outfit which is really awesome, I was thinking to be a kuntilanak
but instead of kuntilanak I became a bride from hell :3
it's just to cute :D

so yea we start trick or treatin at 6pm ish I guess and ends around 9 ish~
oh my god~ from 2 - 3 hours I got a lot of candy.. and I kinda donate some for
the Macy's parade donation that Thea have. And I got that huge jar added with
Amanda Gaines' candies gave me that morning and I am soo happy :)

so yes! i love it, anyway there's a text message from Brandon :)


Me : "I am a dead bride who rose after being abused by her fiance."
Brandon : "Coolness"
Me : ":3 gonna posted my picture later."
Brandon : "OK lol"
Me : "Mwe mwe, I am searching for my groom"
Brandon : "right here"

-smiles- love is always in the air huh? it's just me who didn't notice it :)

Halloween?

So it's halloween huh? anyway it's already 81 days I am here..
It's almost 3 months~ and I am happy I could survive..

So, talking about the Hurricane Sandy, I am fine, it's just a kind of storm...
it's not bigger than the tropical storm that
I used to live with where winds blow my mom's plant and
after the storm we have to gather our plants again..

Good thing they called it day off for the Monday and Tuesday.
So I could rest, taking naps and do something relaxing.

and anyway my halloween costume almost done and I am so proud of my nana~
she took all the credit and it's so beautiful. I love her, the dress is pretty and
it's something that I could pull off anyday.

So I have school tomorrow and I am watching How I met your mother as it's so crazy
I mean I love marshall he just so awesome I mean he dressed up as Eygeptian queen then become
Capt. Jack sparrow :D

thinking about the costumes
we had this event called "Senior Dress up Day parade"
My fellow exchange student whom just came back from Japan around 6 months ago
dressed up as a soldier and he's so cool :) too bad I didn't get his picture.
MacKenzie became a cute Chinese girl and we just love her, :)
and there's also a cute lolita girl in the Toy Story

I wish I could get my feelings right~ :)
-laughing- I love him




caged mind.. waiting the key to open it



i would carve my pumpkin like this :)

:) pretty isn't it

so cute right?

I might gonna do this for my sis b'day :)

-curled on couch-

Why people are not sensitive enough to other's feelings?
It such a selfish thing to do! I want to mad but I can't.. I want to yell but it's useless.. I am dying because there's nothing I can do :( REALIZE IT PLEASE! even I can't love you it hurts to see you get sick and pretends you were fine! I'm moving on but if you do this to me I can't! I can accept you are more close to him than me.. I just need you to rest.. And be fine

sunday post!!

Today is sunday and i love it soo much...

I participate in the church today as it's a world communion as I'm the altar girl and I'm holding the bread.
Instead of saying "The body of Jesus Christ broken for you" I said it in bahasa so "Inilah Tubuh Yesus Kristus yang dipersembahkan untumu" which is a bit crazy I suppose. Since it's ummm~ a methodist church.
so anyway today also my mom's birthday, I dk what to gave her but I'm preparing a song for her.
I'm planning to play it infront of her but my pinkie finger's muscle just have a cramps and I hate it
and i'm trying to finish the chord anyway

and we eat in the Olive garden, as we went to shoes and bags shop :3 *yay* and I try some boots! which is i never thought to wear it but it's awesome :3 knee length is sooo cute! I have to have one :3
anyway I have Venetian Chicken Apricot today and it's awesome, the apricot sauce, Asparagus, broccoli, tomatoes and also the grilled chicken is awesome!!! OMG OMG and the leftover red velvet cheesecake is so suitable with it :3
anyway yesterday we went to Rhode Island to shop at Providence Place which is like Indonesia's PP :D and I love it, geee I buy thea's chrismast present there and I got 6 cool clothes for fall and winter~ :3
it's pretty and I'm dying to buy summer dresses but I can't ;(
anyway that day I start to fall in love in boots :D

haha nevermind I got some cool stuffs and i eat crispy artichoke heart, something like springrolls :3 *OMG I HAVE TO COOK SPRINGROLLS FOR THEM!!!*
and also something like pizza :3

so far I love Massachusetts and I don't wanna leave yet, it's just
will it be the same if I decided to visit them?
I want visit them, with him maybe :) and I'll introduce him to them :)

Fade Now? or Later?

Recent cold makes my grades falling down to B's and I hate it :(
I'm trying my best as I work my ass off, I only do good at math.
My English is a wreck I got 66 only at my essay :(
and the vocabulary test did not satisfy me at all 9 out of 11? Seriously!
I could do better!

I know I'm being pushy to my self, but it's just I could do better.

I felt nostalgic but, not sad. It happens because of the rains recently pouring.
it's just Rain, Wet, Cold, Moist Air, Fall, Red-orange leaves creating weird feeling like a ghost.
When every perfect dream seems foggy.

It doesn't mean I didn't miss my home,
I might missed it but pretends you didn't makes you stronger don't you think so?
I want a good year. A good life.